**GIVEAWAY HAS ENDED!
Please check out our Facebook Fan Page to see who the WINNER is!! :)
WE are so excited for this book review! We had TWO of our incredible divas, Kiirsten and Charlene, read and review this easy read book just for you! They did an amazing job summarizing it up! Check it out and then leave us some love at the end so you are entered in our giveaway!
What We Wish We'd Known When We Were Newlyweds
By: John and Kimberly Bytheway
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Oooh! I love how this book pumps you up with ways to keep your marriage going smoothly and that newlywed spark alive! John Bytheway and his wife, Kimberly, take you on a journey through the main obstacles they discovered in married life (Wow, the same ones I have found... imagine that! LOL) and along with great humor and helpful encouragement, they lead the way to some valuable solutions!
If you're unfamiliar with John Bytheway, you'll love his easy-going and honest style. He is an incredible public speaker and has a gift with words. Not only is this book well written, it is easy to apply to your own marriage as he illustrates concepts with tons of personal experiences, hilarious metaphors, and bonus "action steps" written in summary form at the end of each chapter.
Communication, budgeting, showing appreciation, intimacy, dating and managing expectations are just a few of the areas they explore. I can't even remember how many times I caught myself nodding and giggling to myself over how true something was! All these great ideas of how to be an awesome team as well as an awesome wife are just the beginning. I realize how much better of a mommy I am when I practice these principles in my love and actions towards my kids, too!
Unlike some other marriage books, What We Wish We'd Known When We Were Newlyweds, also focuses on keeping Christ in your marriage. Everything discussed in this book is a rock solid stone in a marital foundation.
This is a book I actually received as a gift when I got married, and if you can't tell, it's one of the best things I could have received! This should be a staple at every reception gift table!
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I am so excited to share this book with you! Regardless what the title says we have been married for 3 1/2 years and the great tips in, What We Wish We Would of Known When We Were Newlyweds, by John and Kim Bytheway has only improved our already growing marriage! There were so many things we already do as a married couple and some things it was nice to know we weren't the only ones struggling with that issue! (Lets be honest, we all have our own set of trials!)
I love this quote that the Bytheway's found by Harold B. Lee.
"Marriages are not successful merely because these couples have fewer problems than others, but they are successful because, when problems come, and come as they will, a husband and wife sit down together to solve their problems like grown-up, mature individuals, rather than with the immaturity of adolescence."
They later expound on, listening and how it is so powerful. It says, "You and your feelings are important to me and I have time for you." They also point out that,"Being married does not give you the power of a mind reader!" It is so important to avoid the attitude of, "Well, if you don't know what's wrong, I'm not going to tell you!" They so simply explain that when you are in a disagreement the goal is to say things in the kindest and gentlest way. Because eventually you will "kiss and make up." Oh, I know that's so sweet :)
They wrote a really good chapter on Money Matters. This is such an important part of marriage! They stress the importance of communicating when it comes to that topic. "Talk about and agree on your financial goals, and then make a commitment to be disciplined about spending limits." They make the point of delaying gratification....sacrifice now for that goal or reward you desire later.
The Bytheway's quote by Gordon B. Hinkley:
"Debt can be a terrible thing. It is so easy to incur and so difficult to repay. Borrowed money is had only at a price, and that price can be burdensome.... I hasten to add that borrowing under some circumstances is necessary. Perhaps you need to borrow to complete your education. If you do, see that you pay it back. And do so promptly even at the sacrifice of some comforts that you might other wise enjoy. You likely will have to borrow in securing a home. But be wise and do not go beyond your ability to pay."
One thing I love about this book is, it is full of beautiful helpful information for any marriage and at the end of each chapter there is a section for recommended reading! I love that they are so helpful in making sure your desire for a stronger marriage does not end when you finish the book. They encourage you to read many marriage books together. Like all marriages, mine is not perfect, but I do believe it is so strong because we have read soooo many books together and we make sure to communicate on every level!
As I was reading this book I could really feel the love pouring out on every page!
Word of Advice: Don't start reading without a pen or pencil in hand! Mine is marked up cover to cover with with big stars, hearts and many underlined quotes and tips. Now when I need just a little inspiration I can open my copy of, What We Wish We Would of Known When We Were Newlyweds and lightly skim what I underlined.
You can order your own copy at Amazon, Deseret Book, and Barnes & Noble.
Word of Advice: Don't start reading without a pen or pencil in hand! Mine is marked up cover to cover with with big stars, hearts and many underlined quotes and tips. Now when I need just a little inspiration I can open my copy of, What We Wish We Would of Known When We Were Newlyweds and lightly skim what I underlined.
You can order your own copy at Amazon, Deseret Book, and Barnes & Noble.
#3 - By being a PUBLIC follower of our blog and telling your friends and family about this giveaway on The Dating Divas! (This can be either a Facebook status shout-out & link back, a line & link back in one of your blog posts, putting our button on your blog, sending a NEW email out, etc....just let us know how you spread the word in your comment.)
We will announce the winner on our Facebook Fan Page on Tuesday, October 12th - so don't forget to check to see if the winner is YOU!!
I'm a public follower of your blog! One thing that I wished I had known when I got married...how much you truly have to work at marriage. In the beginning you think it will all be rainbows and butterflies, and then the newness wears off, and you realize that "wow, I need to work at this". However, it is worth the work to have a happy marriage and partner to share your life with whom you love to pieces!
ReplyDeleteI'm a public follower of you blog. One piece of advice I have received (numerous times) is to never go to bed or walk out the door angry. I can't say that I always follow the advice, but I try to. And when we work things out, we both feel better and re-connected!
ReplyDeleteI'm a follower. Everyone told me that marriage would be work, but they didn't emphasize the fact that it was so much work *every day*. It really is a daily effort to keep things going and somedays you do well and other days... you try harder the next day. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm a follower, and the best marriage advice I received was from my mom. She said that marriage must involve compromise, but compromise isn't always a meet-in-the-middle, 50-50 split every time. Sometimes it's 100% what you want, and other times it's 100% what he wants, so it balances out -- but no keeping score!
ReplyDeleteI am a public follower. The best marriage advice I recieved was from my Grandma. On my wedding day she gave me a handmade card with a one dollar bill inside and Luke 6:38 written on the card. She told me that marriage is not a give and take relationship, it's a give and give relationship! My husband had the dollar laminated for me and any time we disagree on something we give each other the dollar, to remind us to give!
ReplyDeleteI'm a public follower! The best marriage advice I received was no matter what, when you are angry with each other count to ten before you say anything. This way, you think before saying anything you'll regret later. That was 13 years ago and we haven't once gotten in a big fight. We have our disagreements, but we never say anything hurtful to each other.
ReplyDeleteHooray I am now a public follower. I have been married 10 years to my wonderful husband! I wish I would have known how to communicate better and not just assume that my hubby knew what I was thinking.
ReplyDeleteThe best marriage that we ever received was to NEVER let the sun set on an argument, and to also never shout unless the house was on fire.
ReplyDeleteI follow publicly and the one thing I wish I would have known is how much your relationship can grow everyday if you really work at it. I had no idea I could love my husband this much and still gets better everyday.
ReplyDeleteI just added a new blog post telling ALL of my friends and family just how great your blog is and to head over and check it out!!!
ReplyDeleteI follow publicly and the best advise I recieved about marriage was always put your spouse before yourself. Because of this we have never been in a fight. I makes both of us a lot happier.
ReplyDeleteI am a public follower! My husbands mom gave us some great and silly advice--"Always do your budget in bed, thats the only place where you can really make ends meet!" :)
ReplyDeleteI am a public follower.
ReplyDeleteThe best marriage advice that I have heard lately is from Dr. Laura which is to always be your husbands girlfriend. Although being a wife and mother is a lot of work your husband will always appreciate you and you can keep the relationship interesting if you remember to be your husband's girlfriend. Remember hugs, kisses, and letting him know how hot you still think he is.
ReplyDeleteBest advice is to never speak badly about your spouse to others....you may forgive fast and easily, but those around you might not. Think of how awesome you would feel if your spouse was bragging you up all the time! Can have a great positive influence in your marriage.
ReplyDeleteI am a public follower of your blog {which I absolutely love, btw!}.
ReplyDeleteSomething I wish I would have known when I was a newlywed is that love languages are a huge deal. I wasn't familiar with this concept until after we'd been married. We've never really had any big problems or anything like that, but it makes a different when my husband speaks to me in my "love language". And I think it makes a difference for him, too.
I'm a public follower.
ReplyDeleteSome of the best advise I've ever received:
Be patient. Don't let some little thing make you all huffy. Guys communicate with words, not looks, and they won't get why you're upset/frustrated/mad/hurt/annoyed unless you tell them. And most of the time, the reason you are upset really won't matter tomorrow. Take a deep breath, reevaluate if the issue is really important, and be patient when he doesn't understand. Really helps me. :D
I'm a public follower.
ReplyDeleteI told my friends about you - and your giveaway - in this blog post:
http://harwoodharbor.blogspot.com/2010/10/need-some-dating-help.html
I wish I would've known that I should do something every day to put a smile on my husband's face.
ReplyDeleteI'm a PUBLIC follower of your fabulous blog. I wish I would have known how hard marriage life can be; you definitely have to nourish it everyday to keep the love growing.
ReplyDeleteThe best marriage advice I've received is:
ReplyDeleteHappily Ever After happens one day at a time.
Posted a status about your giveaway via FB
ReplyDeletei follow via GFC.
ReplyDeleteBest marriage advice I've received was to never go to bed angry
justagirlnamedstormy @ yahoo.com
I am a public follower and what I wished I would have known when I was a newlywed is sometimes how hard marriage gets. Everyone gets busy and we forget about meeting the needs of our spouse.
ReplyDeleteI am a public followers and the best marriage advice I have ever received was to never go to bed angry. Basically have everything taken care of before the lights go out. Sometimes I have not followed this advise, but I should have.
ReplyDeleteI have your button on my blog!
ReplyDeleteI am a public follower and one thing that I wish I had known when I was a newlywed is that its okay to disagree with each other...that doesn't mean that your marriage is bad, what makes your marriage good or not so good is how and if you make up afterwards.
ReplyDeleteThe best marriage advice that I got is to always be working at your marriage, putting each other first even with kids. It makes life more enjoyable if you are always trying to help each other out or planning a fun activity for the two of you to look forward to (love the ideas you guys give).
ReplyDeleteWhat I wish I would've known as a newlywed is that there is NOTHING you can't work through. I think too many couples approach marriage with the idea that if things don't go well, there is always divorce. If you know from the very start that you will work through absolutely anything and there is no easy out, things start going more smoothly. It's all in the attitude!
ReplyDeleteI'm a public follower and one thing that I wish I would have known when hubs and I first got married was that living on a budget and living on only OUR income was going to be super dooper tough!! LOL
ReplyDeleteI'm a public follower and the best marriage advice I ever got was to sit down periodically and "evaluate" where you both think you are.
ReplyDeletePublic follower! The one thing I wish I had known about marriage is that it is never 50/50, each day, sometimes several times a day, you must compromise to make things work. It's not about who does more work in the marriage at any given time it's about how you work together to keep it together.
ReplyDeleteThe best marriage advice I can give to anyone, newly married or otherwise is to be kind to each other. Never say anything mean or hateful to your spouse no matter how upset you are, even when things get patched up you will still have hurt them intentionally and you can never take it back. Overtime those mean unkind actions build up. Even during a fight, be Kind!!!
ReplyDeleteposted you on my facebook page
ReplyDeleteI posted a link to your blog on my facebook.
ReplyDeleteSome of the best advice we got as newlyweds is never go to bed angry, It makes things so much easier and better then you can talk and figure out problems rather then just sleeping away the problem.
ReplyDeleteWhat I wish I would have known about being a newlywed is how busy life would be and that during the engagement period I should have enjoyed period more and how much time we got to spend together.
ReplyDeletefollower...when i was a newlywed, i wish i knew how much my husband's parents' marriage would play into his part of our marriage. :)
ReplyDeletefollower...best advice i ever heard was when i was sitting in laurel class and the yw president (whom we all thought of as perfect) interrupted to tell us: That there will be days when you wonder why you married this person. There will be times when you don't even like that person. And your husband will have the same moments (again, *gasp*...her husband was perfect also!). But I want you to remember that these moments will pass. You will get through them and you will also fall in love with him over and over and over.
ReplyDeleteI'm a public follower. I have been married just over a year now and I can't say I've ever wished someone had told me something I didn't know....not yet anyway ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm a public follower and this is the best advice I've received, from my mom: Don't use sarcasm or mean teasing towards each other, always be kind and genuine.
ReplyDeleteI'm a public follower and the best advice I was given when I got married was "Remember to Laugh" and "Never go to bed angry"...this is excellent advice cause hard times DO happen in marriages and sometimes that kiss good night and small "I'm sorry" help keep the marriage strong. AND there are times that you just have to laugh to get through it. I love laughter,and sometimes all out tickle wars are the best cure ever!
ReplyDeletemarriage advice "always FORGIVE and FORGET"
ReplyDeletemarriage is definitely something you have to work at...its not easy, thats why i love sites like this :)
I am a public follower and I wish I would have known when I got married that you would really have to work at having alone time after you have kids. Sometimes you have to get creative and make sure you have that alone time!
ReplyDeleteSome of the best advice I got before I was married was communicate, communicate, communicate! SO true! Without communication you almost don't even have a marriage.
ReplyDeleteThere are so many things I wish I had know when I was a newlywed! For starters, it is hard to blend different ideas about holidays, food choices, pets, disciplining children, and spending habits to name a few. You have to work hard and get creative. There is a lot of give and take and often you have to compromise and take yourself out of your comfort zone. Finding a balance takes patience...with yourself and your spouse. There are many things I wish I'd discussed before we got married so there were fewer surprises.
ReplyDeleteI'm a follower, love your blog!
The best marriage advice I've ever received? I have to really think about this one.
ReplyDelete1. Never go to bed angry!
2. Look for the good in your spouse. Avoid nit picking at all costs!
I'm a follower.
This entry is on behalf of Julie Meadows! She is a follower and gave us a shout out to all friends on facebook! Thanks, Jewels! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteOh how I love your blog! It was amazing reading just through the comments and picking up on things I could do to strengthen my marriage with my husband! I just got married 4 months ago and me and my husband are still in the process of trying to learn how to live with each other and live happy lives. Thanks for the wonderful reccomendation which not only encourages us to strengthen our marriage but also find Christ while in the process.
ReplyDeleteSincerely,
Merrawyn
So excited about this giveaway!
ReplyDeleteWhat I'd wished I'd known (and understood): our priorities for everything would be different no matter how logical we each think ours our.
Best Advice: keep the private things private.
ReplyDeleteOpening my mouth tends to get me in trouble especially if I turn to someone else rather than my husband first.
**Addition to the comment above** That advice was given to me at a shower by one of the senior adult ladies in our church.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I posted about the giveaway on my blog! All four people will read it!!
I link to your site from my blog. I recently discoverd this blog. You do a great job of being creative and yet realistic. My answer is more of what I wish I had not been told. When I got married the tmeple sealer told us to never go to bed angry with each other. That's a nice idea but not realistic. Sometimes you need time to cool off and sometimes that time comes over night. The next day I am rested and often have a better perspective of what I was upset about. I don't usually go to bed angry for two nights but sometimes I am upset for one night.
ReplyDeleteI'm a follower! And I wish we had known how to communicate our problems with one another! I still have a hard time getting it out of my husband, but when its out in the open, we can always talk it out and things are instantly better! (even if its not marriage related)
ReplyDeleteThe best advice I've gotten is to always serve one another, and your needs will be met. If you are thinking about your spouse rather than yourself, you will be a happier person!
ReplyDeleteI'm a public follower and even though I've only been married a year, what I wish I would have known as a newlywed is to always remember the beginning. Too often I've forgotten all the little things that we did during the dating period of our relationship that made us fall in love with each other. Always take a trip down memory lane and keep it alive within your marriage.
ReplyDeleteI'm a public follower and the BEST advice I've ever received was actually before I was ever married. One of my church leaders growing up told me "Remember, your husband's family is not your family." This has always stuck with me because yes, even though they are my family now - they aren't. They have there own traditions, their own problems (ones I'm not aware of), their own ways of showing affection, etc. I'm so glad I was given this advice before I was married because it has saved me from feeling "out of place" with his family and has let me accept them for who they are.
ReplyDeleteI am a public follower of Dating Divas:)
ReplyDeleteBest advice we received is... If your lips are locked in a kiss, you can't say anything stupid:)
ReplyDeleteFollower! I wish I knew that marriage wasn't just about being with the person you fell in love with-- it's about following in love with them over and over and over again!!! :)
ReplyDeleteBest advice I ever got I got from my mom and dad...
ReplyDelete1. You are your husband's wife- not his mother. Never give into the urge to mother or correct him. Treat him like your man and not your child and he will act like a man and not "one of the kids."
2. Some people say that they "fell out of love" like it was unavoidable and they couldn't control it. But love is a choice! Love only diminishes when we stop giving it.
3. Never put your children before your spouse. The best thing you can do for your children is to love their father. The best thing you can give your children is an example of what true love and a happy marriage looks like. You will automatically be a better mom when you're a better wife.
4. Go on weekly dates with your spouse (even if it has to be at home after the kids are in bed sometimes.) If you commit to each other to set aside time each week and block it out- just for each other- you're choosing to create your own happily ever after. After all, the flame won't go on forever unless you keep adding wood to the fire.
Just found your blog and I LOVE it!
ReplyDeleteThe best marriage advice I ever received was to listen to what my husband asks me to do, and then to DO IT. No matter how silly or inconsequential it seems, doing what he's asked shows him that I care about him. Sometimes it's as simple as filling up the car tank of gas after I run errands or buying his favorite cereal. It shows that I value him and his wants which in turn he will try to reciprocate.